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 The Chick Magnet™ has been known to “attract chicks” (our legal team wants us to clarify: baby chickens). Used incorrectly, it can summon spectral baby chickens that launch directly into your mouth. In rare cases, it may produce a sentient plush chicken named Tim who insists it’s his birthday. 

1. DO NOT read the included parchment (or inscription on the magnet) out loud unless fluent in Forgotten Tongue Runes. A proper translation can be purchased for $100.
2. Always use the provided ritual salt perimeter (don’t substitute with popcorn salt - only use GhostBros LLC Ritual Salt). 
3. Never recline in a chair while activating the magnet. 
4. If portal activity begins, close it immediately by yelling:  “Bok-bok, back you go!” 
5. If symptoms persist (choking on phantom feathers, poultry hallucinations), call GhostBros LLC immediately.